August meeting: notes

June meeting discussion and notes

Title: A thousand splendid suns
Author: Khaled Hosseini

Synopsis: Mariam is only fifteen when she is sent to Kabul to marry the troubled and bitter Rasheed, who is thirty years her senior. Nearly two decades later, in a climate of growing unrest, tragedy strikes fifteen-year-old Laila, who must leave her home and join Mariam's unhappy household. Laila and Mariam are to find consolation in each other, their friendship to grow as deep as the bond between sisters, as strong as the ties between mother and daughter. With the passing of time comes Taliban rule over Afghanistan, the streets of Kabul loud with the sound of gunfire and bombs, life a desperate struggle against starvation, brutality and fear, the women's endurance tested beyond their worst imaginings. Yet love can move a person to act in unexpected ways, lead them to overcome the most daunting obstacles with a startling heroism.



We were incredibly privileged enough to have with us at this particular meeting a guest speaker who had spent time living and working in Afghanistan. This was such a huge bonus as our book club were able to hear, firsthand, what life was like there. Even better, we were able to ask questions that the book had raised that, ordinarily, we may not have been able to have answered. Due to the frank & sensitive nature of the discussion, a lot of this meeting’s comments will not be posted to this blog. For that reason, what is posted below relates directly to the book. Should you want to know what we talk about in these discussions…join the book club :0)

Discussion questions
1. I could not understand Mariam’s father. He obviously loved Marian and visited her weekly, but did not help her out when she most needed it. Was it just because he was weak or didn’t want his reputation ruined? Or did his wives have a lot of influence in the household?
• Probably all of the above; men seemed to be able to almost do whatever they wanted; the mother was a servant in the house – from a different caste; in his own home he was very weak; they were to be kept separate – the two lives; the sons helped the house – perhaps he learnt from the sons, don’t do what I’ve done; very touching at the end when he sent her the Pinocchio video

2. Was Rasheed just a product of his own evil personality or of the country and culture he grew up in, in a ‘Pre-Soviet Invasion’ Afghanistan?
• Absolutely terrible person BUT he looked after him even when he lost everything it might have been his one redeeming feature; he really loved his son; kept comparing Rasheed to Babi – you have two totally opposite men here so what IS the typical Afghani father like?; education makes a big different as to how men treat women; women run the house but men run the family; daughters are seen to be useless and this is seen to be the woman’s fault; having watched ‘The kite runner’ film and read the book and read ‘A thousand splendid suns’ the infrastructure there seems very backward; ‘A thousand splendid suns’ is very real; it made me think to myself ‘Imagine living like that.’ And then I saw a documentary on tv about a woman who’d had her nose and her ears cut off; before the Taliban there was a woman governor who did good work for the area, and then the Taliban came and that stopped – now, slowly, incredibly brave woman are taking huge risks to get that back

3. Throughout the book, there were about 4 different regimes that had control in Afghanistan. The monarchy, the Soviets, then a civil war and then the Taliban. Which was the best and worst for the civilian population?
• you cannot believe everything you hear on the news – you don’t get the good stuff and there IS an awful lot of good stuff going on, they only give you the bad side; when you say good things are happening over there – like what?; good stuff happening in the way of aid for education, more work being created, a lot being done to raise the standards for both female and male and this has nothing to do with the presence of the Taliban – it happens anyway; Kabul university wasn’t really destroyed, it was damaged not destroyed, and a lot of buildings that were damaged weren’t used for anything, and buildings are being pulled down, bricks being made and buildings being rebuilt – if I hadn’t seen it I wouldn’t have believed it, they are amazing; we only see the negative part on the news, don’t we?; there’s more going on than you really ever know

4. The rules, issued by the Taliban, about what people could and could not do, was astonishing. What would the educated woman living in Kabul have done at this time?
• Some stayed home; they do exquisite embroidery; make a lot of their own clothing; would educated women have left the country? – a lot went to Pakistan and a lot have begun to return to raise their young families;

5. I found there were a few emotional moments in the book when I needed some tissues. Which moments affected you the most?
• the beatings; I was really touched by the boy who told Nana there was no shame in being scared; I felt touched by the way the woman stoically accepted her death by stoning; going from #5 into #6 – Nana committing suicide and then her daughter making the same choice; I found Marian’s mother so negative and bitter – no thank you, no gratitude and the way she treated her; I think it was because her daughter was a constant symbol of her fall from grace;

6. Nana on page 17, said that “There is only one, one skill a woman like you and me needs in life, and they don’t teach it in school.” …”only one skill. And it’s this: tahamul. Endure.” How true do you think that was?
• Nana was saying this from a negative point of view

7. How would you describe Marian and Laila’s friendship?
• Sometimes mother/daughter when it was needed; friends always

8. Who was your ‘favourite’ character?
• The old man who had a lovely relationship with Mariam – he educated her;

9. Were you satisfied with the ending of the book? Was it too much of a ‘happy ending’? Maybe not very realistic compared with the rest of the book?
• Was it too much of a happy ending?; Can you ever have too much of a happy ending?; in some books it may been the end of Mariam’s life so this open ending was nice; from our perspective we may think how can they have a happy life after all of that but it is their life; women in Afghanistan are just like us – they have hopes and aspirations for their children and themselves – they’re just like us but in a different place;

10. How do you rate the book from 1 to 5?
• 5; 5; 5; 4; 5; 5; 4; 4; 4; 4; 5; 4
Merrin: That's an average rating of 4.5

Looking for similar fiction/nonfiction titles?
• Nonfiction recommendation: Three cups of tea: one man's mission to fight terror and build nations - one school at a time by Greg Mortenson & David Oliver Relin
• Fiction recommendation: Sarah’s key by Tatiana de Rosnay

September book
The Guernsey literary and potato peel pie society by Mary Ann Shaffer & Annie Barrows

Tosca's note: I learned that it snows in Afghanistan! I never knew this :)